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Profile Of The Clueless

- Name: Lexus Teo
- Age: 20++
- Dob: 22th August 1985
- Current: Army at Selarang Camp
- Full Time bf
- Part Time Tutor of Her..


Adores
You.. You.. & Only You..
Her.. Her.. Thats You gal.. =)



Tell Me The Truth


Sophisticaters
- Alicia
- Brigitte
- Caroline
- ChuiWah
- Crystal
- Eve
- James
- Jennifer
- JiaPing
- Junel
- KaIwEn
- Kenny
- LiWeN
- LyE yEe
- Mei Shan
- May
- HuiXian
- sEreNe
- Shu Hui
- Sophia
- SunShine
- Stephanie
- Samantha
- WeiLinG
- WeiShan
- Xin Yi
- Yi Hui
- Yuxiang


Saturday, January 21, 2006

After today service, I realize the importance of blogging and reflecting oneself. It’s like thinking it out on what happen today and what has happened for the past few weeks. At first, I wasn’t into believing god. But there are signs of belief and that he is there for me. I was glad I made the right choice last year.

Today, pastor Shirley mentioned about utilizing the time we Ns people have in the army and fully make the best out of it. I felt likewise. Another concern about me is that I’m still unable to put my past relationship behind me. No, its not that I still like my ex but I was tormented and hurt by her then till a phobia is created. There has been this shadow of great disbelief overpowering within my self-confidence. Right, today someone whom I’d a liking for replied my message in an extent that it’s exactly similar to the attitude of my ex. I know it’s a miscommunication or misunderstanding but this shows that we might have communication problems. Yup. Communication and trust are the main ingredients in maintaining a relationship. Ultimately, I must admit that we have a communication misunderstanding because we differ. I’m not taking my NS commitment as an excuse but the main concern is because of my past. I’m afraid, scared of knowing and discovering a new partner, a companionship. Sadly speaking, I’m frightened to try. Oh god, I wouldn’t want a second person whose love I give shall not get in return. And for all I give, returns in despair. Here am I reading my ex’s blog, she has had other guys after me. I realized what a fool am I to have a girlfriend like her before. Almost exactly a year has gone, forgotten are the feelings I had for her. Memories lived the pain and a demoralized path.

Sigh, for all the sins I made, must have created this dark shadowed eclipse on me. Looking back, I realize I couldn’t commit no more. Maybe the right one hasn’t arrived. Or maybe the one whom has arrived has gone. Most importantly, I pray that 1 day the eclipsed phobia will be lifted with a bright sunshine.

Sign off.lex

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